Into the marriage life, followed by the will encounter the first five. Play your cards correctly, around the reef, the bond between you is enough to tighter links.
Married and have a person from this world, and their relationship with him than any other person must be close; Since then, two people should work together to face and adapt to changes and challenges in life. World 1,000 couples, 1,000 kinds of happiness or sadness, but every couple will encounter five "first":
The first family war
Marriage so that husband and wife became one person made you treat a partner to the contrary, unlike the others as respect or tolerance, to have this mentality, when you friction, the situation head contingent to become unbearable up.
Yang Lu and horsepower married two months later, the first serious conflict occurred because the mother's economic requirements The horsepower mother is a fashionable lady, and often asked his son to travel abroad, paid for her to buy clothes and jewelry costs. Yang Xia finally lost control: "how do you be so stupid, just like your mother in your life together over a good
Around the reef: a survey showed that couples long run, can get along with, the key to see how they deal with conflict. The controversy can not be avoided, then it should try to avoid the battle. Angry and do not by the patience washed each other yelling, first truce, to calm himself down until you can use a calm tone of conversation, princess gown with empire waist vneck halter which to control the battle. Specific methods are as follows:
Listen carefully to each other's interpretation, do not interrupt or chipped, do not try to protect their own position;
Sake of discussion, do not turn Chen rotten corn sesame;
To maximize the understanding of each other, good faith, by the other party to seek a solution to the conflict.
Harvest: Yang Lu said I had to consciously restrain myself no longer say, 'I told you do that' this kind with criticism means. I went up to hug him, and then apologize to each other, like going back to fall in love. "
Married life, and active avoidance of controversy is the practice of deceiving the presence of neglect can only lead to mutual resentment. Constructive debate then this could enhance the relationship between the two, because it shows that you are husband and wife with a high degree of trust, not afraid to speak their mind to each other. Crossed this bridge, your relationship will be a major step forward.
First secondary children
Childbirth, child-rearing tired, can not imagine a couple in love. Having children for women, means that huge psychological challenge. "When I have children,sweetheart straples sweep train satin beach wedding dress I seem to repeat the generation of my grandmother's life." 30-year-old residue of a marriageable age of new mothers said. Laundry, cooking, feeding, cleaning, changing diapers, I was completely drowned out by these trivial matters and I am very jealous of her husband to leave home to go to work when he go home at night, I have accumulated a bad mood all day burst out, causing a family war. "
Around the reef: the feeling of residue is not unusual, a mother, career women are bound to the separation of the considerable energy to their children, in a very long time, the child will replace, entertainment and become a top priority. But do not forget, the new father's world is completely changed, and most obvious point is that his shoulder to stir up the family by heavy bear. The psychological characteristics of men at this time is usually felt to be excluded in a matter of caring for children, and the resulting sense of loss. Therefore, the best way is to use the loss of this, assign him to do whatever made him feel close nexus between family members.
Raising a child will give the couple excessive physical tension fatigue will naturally affect the sex. In general, the new mother to no good to take care of the baby and children sleeping in one bed, separated from her husband. To see his beloved partner have turned into a feeding tool, most of the new father will suffer greatly. Typically, 6 Zhou Houfu wife will be able to resume a normal sexual life; six months later, the female body and sexual desire to return to the mothers and their children before the state. The female body recover after giving birth take some time, when the body is very sensitive. If the wife does not want to have sex, can replace sexual touching and kissing, and also maintain a close relationship.
Harvest: child-rearing, you learned how the roles of parents and partners to combine marriage entered a new stage. "Children make our feelings more profound, because he is the first thing we have completed the most serious thing." Nan Nan's husband said. Residue added: "We have learned to help each other in order to efficiently handle the chores, enjoy our two lives."
The first big changes in work
The couple who work with changes, whether it is promotion or demoted, dismissed, or sent to foreign subsidiaries, will cause fluctuations in the family. At this time, the relationship between husband and wife were placed in a secondary position, occupying a priority. Job changes not only means that the economic situation changes, but also change the relationship status, power, self-esteem, as well as the other side of their own views.
Judy and beam waves couple have been married for four years of life work stable, well paid, but Liang Bo diverted in the 30-year-old, decided to do what the law, he spent a full three months to find a job. Look for work, not just our revenue dropped significantly, and I can only stay at home, takes his wife's home office, "said Liang Bo. Liang Bo's wife, Judy, is a freelancer, not used to her husband every day to stay at home, she must be uninterrupted, to concentrate on work. And in order not to affect the mood of the beam wave, Judy talk had to gingerly for fear of harm her husband's self-confidence. To this end, she was very depressed.
Around the reef: The first step is to re-do the family budget, redistribution of housework, but the most important thing is to re-recognize, adjust the two sides play in the marriage role. Pressure in this difficult period, the most serious problem between husband and wife. In order to ease the tension, and her husband intimate conversation is the key to solve the problem.
Harvest: work and money and their own sense of security, the embodiment of self-worth is directly connected to. First marriage changes will inevitably lead to these problems, so by addressing these issues can contribute to strengthen the sense of responsibility and spirit of collaboration between the husband and wife. Like Zab Judah said: "I know a lot of family conflicts are caused because of money, but we have worked hard to overcome the confusion brought about by the money." Positive tolerance mentality husband a lot less pressure. Solve the problem of job changes, the epiglottis Fortunately, there is a support for your partner, with him, regardless of life how hard you are not alone to face all this.
The first health crisis
Any member of the family is sick, your life will be great changes to the eleven diseases not only changed the order of life, and gave everyone the opportunity to observe, test each other to care about taking care of patients, and also to observe how they cope with their illness The death brought fear and fragility of life.
The 26-year-old's Xie Lan wedding anniversary just after a major surgery. Before the surgery, Xie Lan see the fear in her husband's face. "In the weeks before surgery, he became quite depressed." Xie Lan said: "He does not talk to me about any surgery." Fortunately, the surgery was very successful, but ruled out the possibility of cancer, but the life very confusing. Xie Lan stay in bed for two months, the next six months she could not work or even doing housework. To make matters worse, she and her husband heart is full of anxiety, sensitive, lonely emotions, resolve such sentiments seem difficult than cure.
Around the reefs: health crisis coming, everyone has their own approach. The patient may be worried about money or losing their jobs these problems, the other fear of losing a partner, to face life alone. Therefore, you should speak their feelings, and work together to deal with this fear may lose.
However, most women hate it when people say that they fragile. Sick when in fact most in need of care, but do not want to say it, the fear of showing weakness by others feel lost value. This need not be, or to the husband to seek help it - even if you are a very independent person.
If you are healthy, then ask her husband what you can do for him. Remember this: even to be with him, can also play the role of good comfort. Xie Lan's husband to take care to leave at home, once some estrangement between them quickly bridged. Her recuperation period is very weak, the complete cessation of sexual life, but her husband care and concern deepened their physical intimacy.
Harvest: "when her husband confessed to me his fear my surgery, I realized he was so in love with me." Xie Lan said: "he care, or even to take me to go to the bathroom for my bath. He is the only one for me to do these things, I feel calm. "
The first face of divorce
No, This is to say not you, but the divorce through the process of your best friend is like a test of your own marriage. You start thinking: what caused the rift between the husband and wife, divorce Why the only way to solving the problem?
The 29-year-old plum witnessed good friends reluctant to divorce. Plum and other girlfriends about Yiyi divorce, tears, confused and confusing, and my heart was thinking; the next one will be who?
Around the reef: the plum and her husband together, work together to help Yiyi. They often ask her to dinner home to help her children out to play, and encouraged her to re-determine the future direction of life. In the plight of the process help Yiyi out of the divorce, the prunes and her husband's re-close relationship, they are more understanding.
There is another situation, namely, your spouse and another couple are good friends. At this time, if they divorce, the divorce front will extend to your house. Do you want to maintain good relations with both sides, but eventually found that friendship means treachery against the other party to maintain, especially one who has extramarital affairs, the case is, indeed, should be exam how to discuss with friends "divorce" topic. When a friend asked you stand on which side of the position, may wish to sprinkle a small lie, or hide from you that the other's new romances. You and your spouse should be secretly Negotiate not affected, do not discuss the topic that will cause your dispute, the involvement of friends so that you and your spouse can not be jointly cope with the incident.
You can help a friend, as a friend cry, but if it is someone else's divorce dispute or quarrel, or a friend's problem is mapped to their own family life, or to take a step back now! Aside other people's problems , plan some romantic action, such as weekend excursions, or to a favorite Italian restaurant together a candlelight dinner.
Harvest: the husband of plum Yiyi and her son's care deeply moved by plum. This is the light of a "survivor" - divorce your friend gave you brought a little income of "guilt": Just think about how their partner was concerned about you, you limit this to non-existent friends those issues, you will find, in fact, in this world how happy you look!